Have you described your emotions on the page? Every scene is emotional. It may not be a said emotion, but it must be conveyed. When my son enlisted in the army, I was proud of him but at the same time, my heart sunk to my knees. I knew what the future would bring. How do you describe the bittersweet? Here’s what I wrote to myself at the time:
There’s that salad, sitting out on the front porch waiting for the guests to arrive with their contributions of hotdishes to add to the potluck.
Potluck you say? What else could it be? My son is going away—far away—into the army and I feel that I will never see him again. The neighbors, friends and relatives have all been invited to attend the open house.
Where is the kid? Oh! There he is dressed in his new shirt and jeans and youthful smile that shows how naïve and vulnerable he is—truly—coming from a mom and pop family and going where no man has before—an army of one--.
My son who has his young fiancé—too young and immature—stands on the other side of him. I’m supposed to be the love of his life.
The guests are arriving time to for me to pull myself together.
What am I not telling you? What of the five senses am I displaying? Am I displaying true emotion? I’d like to know what you think.
Thanks so much for reading this blog. You can read comments below. Please feel free to share.
Barb
